Gracie’s New Year’s Resolutions

What... dogs can't have resolutions, too?

If you’re reading this, it means you’ve officially survived the holiday season and your New Year’s hangover. Well done, friends! We have a lot of cool stuff planned for 2018, and it would have been a major bummer if the last few weeks had managed to put you out of commission more permanently. Welcome to the new year, bulldoggers!

If you’re already hard at work on your New Year’s resolutions, you’re not alone. We have our own goals for the months ahead, but to be honest, no one — and we mean no one — is more focused on the 2018 plan than everyone’s favorite pooch, Gracie Jane. Like the rest of us, she can feel overwhelmed by resolutions, but her belief in her own bulldog strength is quite literally limitless, so she’s actually pretty chill about the whole thing.

It’s time to turn this over to Grace herself. She has 11 resolutions on deck for the year ahead — she’s an ambitious chick — and we’ll let her fill you in on the details. 

1. Stop being such a flirt. I need to get serious about two to three male dogs. Maybe four. Can I help it that my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard? Honestly, no. But I’m going to try.

2. Work on my skateboarding + snowboarding skillz. I’ve dabbled in extreme sports over the years, but I feel like 2018 is the year that I really reveal my inner badass by perfecting my abilities. (And, yes, skillz is spelled with a “z,” thank you very much.)

3. Stop eating Mom’s plants. I’m told this is a bad habit, and while I don’t entirely understand why snacking on the occasional succulent is such a problem, I guess I’ll try to cut back. Do they make a patch to help wean you off this stuff?

4. Run two miles a day three times a week with my mama. This rockin’ bod doesn’t come easy, people. Mom says it’s smart to mix up your workout routine, so I’m committing to more runs in the new year.

5. Perfect the “heel” command. I’m not much of a follower. (I know this doesn’t come as much of a surprise.) That being said, I think Mom’s life would be a lot easier if I could more consistently buy into this “heel” business. Woof.

6. Keep exploring my new home with cool hikes. Colorado rules, my dudes. I’m pretty psyched to be here, and I hope to see lots more of what this place has to offer from the trails — or, at least, from someone’s arms on the trails. Isn’t that what friends are for?

7. Learn two tricks. You heard it here first, but you can be sure I’ll share all my best stuff on Instagram.

8. Wear less costumes. Shoutout to you, Mom. I know you think I’m pretty cute in these weird outfits (and I obviously am), but I’m just not sure it’s my look. My lack of thumbs is going to make it hard for me to achieve this on my own, so if you could help a sister out here, I’d be forever grateful.

9. Visit the nursing home twice a month. I might give off the impression that I’m some kind of a diva, but I’m really all about giving back. Plus, I can’t wait to make some new friends! Do you think the people at the nursing home will have snacks?

10. Up my Instagram game. I don’t love to live my life so publicly, but I get that being plugged in is the price we pay to be cool. Sigh.

11. Watch more documentaries. A girl’s gotta get her binge watching in, but I feel like I need to step up my game and start checking out some higher-quality content. Does The Crown count? I hear the princes are pretty cute.

What are your New Year’s resolutions? Tell us more on Facebook + Twitter!

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